
By GABE COHN from NYT Arts https://ift.tt/2Kw7JSl
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Don’t spend that conversation trying to ‘fix’ them. They just want someone to hear them, not someone to give suggestion after suggestion.
Depression is tiring, having to justify why those suggestions don’t work is exhausting energy we don’t have.
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My wife and I have been married for 4 years.
When we met she was a tiny little terror. Like the Tasmanian Devil had a baby with Barbie. So freaking adorable and sweet, but she was a tornado. She drank like 6 cups of coffee every single day. So much caffeine for a tiny person. If you didn't know her you would swear she was on drugs. I loved her so much that I knew I could put up with it if I had to, but if I didn't have to, I would try to find a way. So the month before our wedding I decided to try replacing her coffee with decaf for to see if it made a change. And Lord have mercy, it was incredible. It was hell the first two weeks. She had the biggest attitude and was so crabby, but I knew we could make it through it. Afterwards it was the best! She was still sweet, and spunky, and adorable, but she wasn't leaving a trail of destruction behind her anymore. I was amazed! So I decided that from that moment on, I would no longer supply her with regular coffee. I would make every Starbucks run, I would buy regular and decaf ground coffee so I could replace the regular coffee in the package with decaf coffee. The only time she has regular coffee is when she orders it herself, which is like maybe once a week. But it makes her really jittery and she doesn't understand why. It's been this way for 4 years. She has no idea, and I am hoping to keep it that way. We are talking about having kids in the next year or so, so I'm hoping that I can convince her to go full decaf on her own at that time and then I won't have to keep this up anymore.
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Jarrod Ramos, 38, charged with five counts of murder over what police chief calls ‘unutterable tragedy’
The alleged gunman who killed five people at a Maryland newspaper was investigated in May 2013 after threats were made against the paper, police said on Friday.
Related: Maryland shooting suspect had vendetta against Capital Gazette paper
Continue reading...She has made peace with losing the election – but not with Donald Trump. Now she is fighting to undo the damage of the president’s child-separation policy – and has no time for debates over civility
When Hillary Clinton made her first public appearance after losing the 2016 election, it was her admission that she had felt like “never leaving the house again” that made headlines. Twenty months later, other details of the speech seem much more significant. That Clinton had left her house to address the Children’s Defense Fund, a child advocacy organisation, said a lot about where the defeated candidate saw her future. Her warning about “the little girl I met in Nevada who started to cry when she told me how scared she was that her parents would be taken away from her and be deported”, told us more about her country’s future than we knew. But when I quote her words back to her, it’s not the accuracy of her prescience that makes her shudder, but its inadequacy.
“I was hopeful that I wouldn’t see the worst of my fears come true. But it has been worse. I have to tell you, even I did not believe this would happen.”
Continue reading...Guardian investigation finds incarcerated women are groomed by pimps and forced into sex work once released
Women in prisons across the US are being recruited by sex traffickers who force them into prostitution on their release.
A Guardian investigation has found that traffickers are using government websites to obtain personal information including mugshots, release dates and charge sheets to identify potential victims while they are still behind bars.
Continue reading...Whistleblower’s comments a risk given his sanctuary in the country since 2013
National Security Agency whistleblower Edward Snowden has delivered his most trenchant criticism yet of the Russian government, describing it unequivocally as “corrupt”.
His comments mean the proposed US-Russia summit in Helsinki on 16 July is potentially risky for him if Donald Trump was to request Vladimir Putin to hand him over.
Continue reading...In industry where one-third of workers are immigrants, Ice’s largest raid at an Ohio plant strikes fear in local communities
Meatpacking has never been the safest, or the most pleasant, job. Now, under the Trump administration, workers are facing another hazard – the threat of deportation.
“We were working in the plant and the agents showed up with machine guns and started taking everyone outside,” 20-year-old “Carlos”, a meatpacker at the Fresh Mark meatpacking plant in Salem, Ohio, told the Guardian.
Singer faces $100m lawsuit over claims Thinking Out Loud copied 1973 hit Let’s Get It On
Ed Sheeran has been sued for a second time over allegations that his song Thinking Out Loud rips off Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On.
A company called Structured Asset Sales, which owns part of the copyright of Gaye’s song, is suing Sheeran for $100m (£76.4m), alleging that his 2014 single copies “the melody, rhythms, harmonies, drums, bass line, backing chorus, tempo, syncopation and looping” of Gaye’s 1973 hit.
Continue reading...Toronto’s Nai Kids choir makes decision to stay home in wake of Trump’s travel ban and says it’s ‘not something we wanted to risk’
A Canadian children’s choir made up mostly of recently arrived Syrian refugees has turned down an invite to perform at a prestigious international festival in the US over fears of crossing the border under the Trump administration’s travel ban.
Related: Trump's travel ban: what does the supreme court ruling mean?
Continue reading...My award proves many Americans know how essential immigrants are to our society. If only this understanding reached the White House
I’m not a loser per se, but the truth is I never win anything. Just this week my dental insurance wrote to tell me I didn’t even win a root canal that my dentist nominated me for. So I’m shocked to realize that this Saturday I will be sashaying along under the great domed ceiling of Federal Hall in downtown Manhattan to collect an award. An “Alexander Hamilton Immigrant Achievement” award for my “outstanding contribution to Lower Manhattan and New York State”.
The award is presented by the Lower Manhattan Historical Association, an organization that honors multicultural diversity and celebrates “the dynamic cosmopolitan optimism that defines so much of the American spirit”.
Continue reading...A recent Gallup poll showed that, at the 500 days mark, Trump was the second most popular US president among his own constituency. How is that possible?
In the past two months I have been traveling through Europe, talking to academic and non-academic audiences all across the continent about populism. And from Norway to Italy and Hungary to Ireland, people have been asking me the same question: how is it possible that Americans still support President Donald Trump?
Related: Hillary Clinton: 'What is more uncivil than taking children away?'
Continue reading...The creatures we feared our grandchildren wouldn’t see have vanished: it’s happened faster than even pessimists predicted
It felt as disorienting as forgetting my pin number. I stared at the caterpillar, unable to attach a name to it. I don’t think my mental powers are fading: I still possess an eerie capacity to recall facts and figures and memorise long screeds of text. This is a specific loss. As a child and young adult, I delighted in being able to identify almost any wild plant or animal. And now it has gone. This ability has shrivelled from disuse: I can no longer identify them because I can no longer find them.
Related: A world without puffins? The uncertain fate of the much-loved seabirds
Continue reading...What do ice skating coaches, organists, public defenders and property managers have in common? The government has sued them all for trying to organize
Over the last several decades, American big business has led a sustained assault on unions. And its mission to undermine worker power has had a quiet but important ally: the government.
What do ice skating coaches, organists, public defenders and property managers have in common? They have all been sued by the US government for attempting to raise their incomes through collective action.
Continue reading...Minnesota United midfielder Collin Martin announced he is gay, making him the only active male athlete in the major professional sports leagues to come out.
Martin made the announcement on social media Friday before the Loons were to host a Pride Night at home against Dallas. He said he’s been out for years with family, friends and teammates and “received only kindness and acceptance from everyone in Major League Soccer”.
Continue reading...Disgraced ex-sports doctor Larry Nassar and a former trainer were charged with sexual assault Friday following an investigation involving an elite gymnastics center in Texas.
A grand jury indicted Nassar on six counts of second-degree sexual assault of a child, Walker County prosecutor Stephanie Stroud announced during a news conference. She said a former trainer, Debbie Van Horn, was charged with one count.
Continue reading...As Gareth Southgate knows, the draw in any sporting tournament matters most to those with least chance of winning it. To lift the trophy, the best sooner or later have to beat the best, be it on day one or in the final.
Yet the hidden drama in Friday’s women’s singles draw for Wimbledon was unavoidable from top to bottom – most obviously with Serena Williams’s return to the All England Club on Monday, after two years (one tournament) away, against the world No 107, Arantxa Rus of the Netherlands.
Continue reading...The NBA’s best player could be on his way out of Cleveland (again) after declining his player option on Friday, but there’s something hollow about his thankless pursuit of Michael Jordan’s six titles
LeBron James, who declined his player option with the Cleveland Cavaliers and became a free agent on Friday, is a superstar in a predicament of his own making. He essentially created the culture of NBA stars teaming up to win championships, one that allowed Kevin Durant to make the Golden State Warriors a dynasty at his own expense. The unfortunate thing for James is he gets no credit.
While Durant is hailed as a selfless hero who stifled his ego to win two titles with the Warriors, LeBron is forever measured against a player from another era, a man who found the perfect team and the perfect coach. The cloud that shrouds LeBron’s legacy at age 32 is that he hasn’t become Michael Jordan.
Continue reading...Podcast appears to include conversation with the president in which comedian poses as a senator
Donald Trump appears to have returned a prank phone call from a comedian pretending to be the senator Robert Menendez on Wednesday as he was returning to Washington DC from a rally in North Dakota aboard Air Force One.
John Melendez, a veteran performer on Howard Stern and Jay Leno’s shows, published a podcast episode Thursday that includes a recording of a three minute conversation between himself and what sounds to be the president.
Continue reading...President announced he has five finalists, including two women, and may interview two contenders this weekend
Donald Trump said on Friday he plans to announce his nominee for a forthcoming vacancy on the supreme court on 9 July – a lightning-quick move to replace the retiring swing vote Justice Anthony Kennedy, 81.
Speaking aboard Air Force One en route to his private golf club in New Jersey on Friday afternoon, the president announced that he has five finalists, including two women, out of the shortlist of 25 names that had been previously circulated.
Continue reading...Car giant, which employs 180,000 people worldwide, follows Harley-Davidson in warning Trump that tariffs policy is mistake
General Motors warned on Friday that expansive US tariffs on imported vehicles being considered by the Trump administration could lead to “a smaller GM” and risks isolating US businesses from the global market.
Related: Biggest US trade groups warn Trump of 'serious negative impacts' of tariff plan
Continue reading...Mass events, spurred by immigration policy and supreme court, urge unity in trying times: ‘It’s not about red or blue’
Organizers of demonstrations expected to take place across all 50 states on Saturday are calling for Americans outraged by Donald Trump’s immigration policies and the prospect of a supreme court swinging sharply right to put aside party differences and protest with one voice.
“This is an all hands on deck, stop the madness moment. It’s not a red or blue thing,” the national protest organizer, Ai-jen Poo, told the Guardian.
Continue reading...Facebook, Amazon, Apple, Netflix and Google have so far dodged impact of trade war
They are just five companies but they are together worth more than the huge international businesses that make up the entire FTSE 100, more than the companies that comprise Hong Kong’s Hang Seng index, and more than Germany’s Dax and France’s Cac 40 put together.
They are the US technology giants collectively known as Faangs – Facebook, Amazon, Apple, Netflix and Google (owned by Alphabet these days) – and their stellar stock market performances of the past few years has continued in the first six months of 2018 despite a number of serious headwinds.
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