AITA for keeping a gift solely for my son rather than splitting it between him and my girlfriend's kids?
I’ve been with my girlfriend for four years now. I have a son from a previous relationship and she has two children of her own from her’s. My son is turning 18 very shortly and will be graduating. Her children are 12 and 14.
Pretty much since my son was born I’ve put aside money for him in a separate bank account. When I first started I was never able to add much to it, but I worked my ass off and made sacrifices in order to be able to put in what I could. It now has over $40k in it. I’ve been shooting for an even 50, but came up short. Still I’m proud that all my hard work and sacrifices are about to pay off for him. I’ve daydreamed about being able to do this for him too many times to count.
My girlfriend knew about the account. There have been some hard times in our relationship where using some of the money would have made things easier, but it was always a hard line for me not to touch it. She was never happy about it per say, but would eventually respect my decision. Now that my son will soon be graduating however we’ve come to a point where we are unable move past. She doesn’t want me to give the full amount to my son, she wants to split it three ways between all of the children and to give her children their thirds when they graduate.
We are a great team usually. It’s almost unheard of for us not to be able to work through issues and come to an agreement so this is sort of new territory for us as neither is willing to budge on this issue so far. She’s fighting dirty too, she’s been making it out as if I don’t really love her children. At least not as much as my son. I do love her kids. That’s not in question, but the truth is of course I love my son more. I feel like that shouldn’t even be that controversial of a thought. I truly doubt she loves my son as much as her own children even if she’d never admit it.
I honestly don’t even know if I would be able to split it up even if I chose too. This is been something I broke my back over and gave up things for myself for for almost 18 years now. Even thinking about splitting it up is difficult for me. Inside there’s just a big “NO” feeling that comes up when I try to consider it.
I also feel like it’s really shitty for my girlfriend to make this such a demand. Putting this money aside was never easy and she had no part in that. In fact she did pretty much the opposite putting herself into debt(which I now help pay off) and I don’t particularly feel that she should have deciding power over this money.
Neither of us have been backing down and it won’t be too much longer until it’s time to give him the money.
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