AITA for being upset at my husband who wants to move away?
My husband is applying for jobs out of state. He nearly had one, but for some reason, they didn’t hire him.
He keeps telling me “I’m out of this state the first chance I get. I hate it here.”
The thing is, I can’t legally go. I have two kids from a previous marriage. The dad has equal parenting time. While I’m sure it’s possible to have a court battle over it, what kind of mom takes her kids away from their dad for no good reason?
My husband tells me that if I really love him and put our marriage first, I’d fight to take the kids from their dad. Or let him have a few weeks in the summer.
There is nothing wrong with our state. It’s more expensive than most, but we both have good jobs here. We have our family here. When we got married, it was a given that I’d be here until the kids graduate school.
I feel I’m justified in distancing myself and not engaging in too much conversation with him, as it always turns into some argument about taking the kids away from their dad and me not doing what he wants. I’m hurt that he’s looking for jobs whether I can go with him or not.
The kids are 8 and 10. Married for two years.
Am I the asshole?
Edit to add: first of all, thanks for the comments. This blew up haha.
We have done counseling with multiple different counselors. The fact that I love my kids and have them as a priority makes him think I’m a raging b****. So, counseling is no longer a thing. I do go alone now.
His reasons for wanting to move are valid...if you don’t marry a woman with kids. I understand his perspective and feelings, but the agreement was after the kids grew up.
I would never take the kids from their dad. For their sake and his.
Update: Thank you all for your support. I did not expect to get so many nice responses and messages. I especially appreciate the ones about being a good mom. I really try my best for my kids, and I also try my best for everyone else I know. Sadly, my husband doesn’t want my best...I’m not sure what he wants. He keeps sending me houses that he wants to buy out of state. I can’t even focus hard enough to craft a response to him.
Not to worry, everyone. My kids are my everything. Their happiness matters so much to me. I would never do anything that would compromise my relationship with them. And even though I left their dad, I would not do anything that would compromise their relationship with him, either.
Everything will work out how it’s supposed to.
And for the record, I’m not from the east coast. Or California. And now I know the places to avoid 😂😂
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