TIFU by masturbating high at work and passing out [NSFW]
This happened last thursday but Im still very terrified at the thought of this ever getting out. Im married and work at a fabrication plant in the offices. I get moderately high at work a few times a week like a lot of people here do. Not a smart thing to do, i will admit that. I wont go into too much detail other than i do a lot of data entry, very monotonous.
Got to work at 7, get some tasks and emails out and hit my vape pen with a thc cartridge at about 8. At 9 which is breaktime, im roughly at a (4), little more than a headchange. Coffee has given me bubbleguts so I head to the shitter upstairs, instead of the one neareast me. I had no idea how good of a decision this was until later. I do this bc there are a higher ratio of female employees upstairs so i dont have to wait for a stall as much as the crowded one on ground floor.
Go in, no one is there so im thinking hell ya ill drop these turds and maybe rub one out if i can. This is also nothing new as i have jerked it plenty of times at work. So the bowels are empty and im on xvideos, midway thru a sunny lane doggy scene and getting close. Due to the fact that these stalls are narrower than the ones downstairs, my leg starts to cramp. Instead of finishing in a handful of TP, i decide ill stand up , tuck back, and blast my seed into the toilet.
I stand up quickly to execute my plan, start to cum, and everything goes black. I come to out of foggy blackout world and im laying on my side. One of the stoner maintenance guys is shaking me loudly whispering hey dude! Wake the fuck up! Hurry man cmon! I have no idea what has happened but my phone is beside me still displaying the now stopped video. He goes look man put your dick in your pants. Breaks been over for a couple minutes someone will be here any time. Hurry the fuck up. Im still very dulled but quickly get penis in pants and my stomach feels sick. Christ im getting fired. He says look im not judging and i wont say shit but if someone else had found you, youd be in serious shit.
Apparently when i stood up, the drop in BP, coupled with thc and endorphins from climax gave me an instant KO. He says fix yourself man i gotta go back to the floor. He unlocks the door to which i say whyd u lock the door? He goes well i walked in and half of you is laid out under the stall, dick out, and phone on floor with porn. I need a job like you do so i tried to help and hoping you werent dead or somethin. I thank him a LOT, and im about to cry. He laughs a lil and says its cool man dont worry i wont say shit. BUT, for real, do you know where i can get some flower? Ive seen you vaping but they hirt my chest. I say yeah ill holler at you after work.
He leaves. I have a red mark on my face from laying on the floor and red eyes. Go back to my office, put drops in, and nervously try to shake this whole thing off which is pretty much impossible. By 3pm, ive calmed down but scared that this person, while helpful, may very well have taken pictures of my extremely exposed situation. Italk to him in the parking lot where we laugh about it, mine is forced. Tell him ill find some flower and we part ways.
I do NOT tell my wife as she will undoubtedly be mega pissed. She doesnt have a problem with MJ generally, but doing it at work, jerking off in a stall and blacking out will be a bad fucking deal. As I previously stated, im still on edge when i think about the very real possibility of this coming back to bite me, even after being insanely lucky. FML.
TL;DR, masturbating at work while high and passing out is extremely risky. You probably wont be saved by a fellow pothead samaritan.
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