AITA for admitting to my boyfriend that I think he's bad in bed?
I DID NOT BRING THIS UP but when “what makes someone good in bed” came up in conversation, my boyfriend asked me point-blank if I think he’s good in bed, and I said no. He’s angry because it’s not his fault I don’t get off, which is true. I can’t get off just from PIV sex, and he doesn’t like the things that do get me off (oral, kissing, foreplay).
I’ve told him twice now, politely, that I’m unsatisfied and I’d like him to do x, y, and z to fix that (initiate, show some passion/lust, occasionally offer to do the things that might help me get off, like play with me with a toy). He agrees he knows how to please me, he just doesn’t make the effort because he doesn’t get anything out of it. So I said “well yeah that’s literally the definition of ‘bad in bed’”. He got angry and said it’s my job to “make” him do those things. I said “well I can’t enjoy it if I have to force you, that’s not sexy at all” and he got huffy and left.
Obviously I’m very grateful that he’s wants to sleep with me at all (I dated my last boyfriend for five years and he really only wanted it once every month or two), but I don’t think that that alone makes someone “good in bed”. I put a ton of effort into my appearance/fitness, I show initiative and enjoyment in our sex life, I compliment him and make him feel sexy…he does none of those things. Otherwise our relationship is good though, so of course I’d never tank it over this. Was I supposed to just lie to my boyfriend? Am I the asshole here?
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