A nice beer shower for being polite.
First time poster, although I’ve been lurking here for ages to remind me why I don’t want to go back to the hospitality industry. I’m on mobile so sorry if the formatting is rubbish. I’ve tried to paragraph my word vomit.
So, setting the scene, the pub I worked at was a city centre, tourist town but with a lot of students, sort of deal. We were close to [insert major city here] so we also got a lot of... I’m struggling for a better way to say ‘entitled rich arseholes’ here. You know the sort, Mr Arrogant Smallcock the major businessman commuting from the ‘burbs.
This particular night we had been pretty slammed (I think it was a week night-so not a whole lot of staff), and so closing down was taking a while. We called last orders and gave everyone the twenty minute warning to drink up and leave. This one group ordered a round for last orders, knowing that they’d have twenty minutes to drink them. Mr Super Entitled Wanker ordered a pint.
So we merrily go about cleaning up and that, and notice that, half an hour over last orders, this group hasn’t left yet. SEW still has most of his pint as well. We give them a quick heads up that they really need to leave, as we’re almost done and will be locking up soon. We’re super polite and they all nod and say sorry they’re just finishing up. All good.
They are now the only people in the pub, minus a couple of our coworkers who stayed after their shift for a drink (they’re still in uniform and are helping with clearing up the floor, so are clearly colleagues-I promise this is relevant).
FORTY FIVE minutes after last orders, and the group are still there. SEW still has around 3/4s of a pint. I walk over and start saying I’m sorry but they need to leave now, as they’re past our license.
SEW: but I haven’t finished the pint I paid for.
Me: polite customer service speak for ‘tough shit’
SEW: you can’t just serve us and then kick us out when we haven’t finished
Me: all due respect, we gave you plenty of notice and have actually given you more time than we should have to finish up.
SEW: why are they still allowed here? (Meaning our coworkers)
Me: they work here and are helping with shutting the place up, we were a bit understaffed.
SEW: well I’m not leaving if you’re not telling them to leave too.
By this point his friends are clearly uncomfortable and are trying to get him to leave, and he is belligerently refusing because he hasn’t finished his pint.
SEW: I tell you what, if you won’t let me finish my drink this is what I’m going to do with it
He then pours the nearly full pint over my head.
Setting the scene more, I was a five foot nothing twenty year old student at this point, SEW was easily a foot taller than me and clearly had no trouble with wasting money on one beer.
I wish I could say I dodged the stream and roundhouse kicked him in the throat, but I think I was too shocked from someone being this much of a dickhead, and sort of just stood there. He put the glass down and laughed, and then realised none of his friends were laughing and sort of booked it out of there.
He didn’t get very far because he didn’t reckon with my battle axe of a colleague chasing him out of the pub and down the street. I have an image of her dragging him back by his ear, but I think that’s wishful elaborating on my imagination’s part. But she did drag him back and informed him he was barred for life, and to crawl up his own arse and die, or words to that effect.
I worked service for years and have so many more stories, but this one just sticks in my head I think because of how unnecessary the whole situation was. I teach now and people who say they don’t know how I do it have obviously never dealt with drunk adults.
I wish you all peace and good tips, and the strength of mind to not slap a bitch (or at least the luck that if you do slap a bitch there are no witnesses).
TL;DR: man decided he’d be better off assaulting the bartender with his pint than drinking it.
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