AITA for excluding my blind friend from my wedding?
I have a friend, Bobby (not his real name), who struggles with his eyesight. He’s quite quiet and solemn most of the time, but he’s a solid guy and he’s good to spend time with. We met at college a couple of years ago and have taken tons of classes together. First year we lived together, and have stayed friends since I moved out. After the first couple of weeks of knowing him, it emerged that he was registered blind. He’s not completely without his sight so it’s not like we didn’t notice this guy with a cane and a dog, it’s just that he needs mega sized text to read, and he’s not allowed to drive or get his license. He’s completely independent though, and has a free public transport card to get the bus and train since he can’t drive. He’s always been a bit of a home bird as well, so every weekend he’d travel about 2 hours back up home, and 2 hours back, so that he could visit his mum and dad.
Now my fiancé and I have been dating for over 4 years and have been engaged for 18 months. As is the way with weddings, we sent out save the dates and invites along the way, and Bobby received both. Because I’m not a very organised human, the wedding invites went out a little later than they traditionally might, but since everyone who was coming knew about the wedding in advance, and received a save the date, it was fine. We had a few people who missed the RSVP date by a couple of days but no harm no foul in my eyes. The RSVP date was set for exactly one month before the wedding.
Background backgrounded. Now for the potential assholery.
Bobby also missed the RSVP date. He wasn’t the only one I had to chase up a week later, but he was the only one who read the message and then took two further days to reply with a yes. Today, less than two weeks before the wedding, he’s messaged saying he can only come to the wedding if he can have a plus one. The reason for his plus one is his eyesight. Because he doesn’t drive and he’s not local he needs someone, his mum, to be present to drive him there and back. I flat out told him no, he’s not inviting his mum as a plus one because we’ve already told the hotel the number for the meal, but she’s welcome at the rest of the day. The hotel in reality doesn’t need the numbers up till 48 hours before, but the table plans are set, there’s no easy space to slot her in, and I don’t want a friends mum that nobody knows enjoying the wedding meal and speeches, and us paying for the privilege. I now doubt whether he’ll come, because I don’t know if she’s happy coming all the way, to not even be fed.
Am I the asshole?
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